Summer Time

Ok so, it is summer time and this is going to be a long summer...long long...summer haha. I am startingt o get pretty big now and just waiting for October to get here. I might be pushing alone this time if Chris doesn't wake up and realize what he has, before he loses it. I am not understanding why he changes so much it is like I am dating 2 different people sometimes. I feel like maybe he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I am so scared of being in this situation with him because I just cannot argue anymore , we argue more then we get along and even though the stress of breraking up is not good for my pregnancy this is not good for it either right???? I prolly only have one person reading this blog another thing I hate is that I never got a chance to know poeple and have a group of friends like a normal person.. I only have my cuz.. thank cuz for being my friend....I am going to deicate my time making new friends that will be there for me when I need them and not yell at me for crying and wont tell me I am crazy...haha I know I am not crazy ...I tell chris if any other woman was with you for ten years she would be crzy to just from having to deal with you...haha... I have noone to talk to he calls all his friends when we fight and he can just get up and go when he wants to and I can't do that I love my daughter and don't mind having her with me but everyone needs a break and he doesnt do that for me why why why I ask why do I have to be so stupid and weak where I cant just tell him Chris I am not happy I want out leave please.... and he would just get up and leave and it wouldnt hurt me ...only if right...what do I do by myself what do I tell my kids what is going to happen when I go into labor I guess even if I stay with him what is gonna happen when I go into labor is he gonna be at the club or passed out drunk... I think I am going to go home and read the bible tonght and try to make some sense of things..... peace out all till next blog.....